Went to bed knowing that I would feel better in the morning. Laid my exhausted head on the pillow and tried to condition myself… But was just not up to it… then I said, maybe in the morning.

Woke up in the morning… with that same ol’ feeling of sadness.

Dragged myself out of bed, completely forgetting about conditioning. Wondered why I kept feeling unhappy

Each day is just the same routine… putting on a brave front for the world and pretending to be the same ol’ Jennie.

Bidding all “hello” and “great day” but when everyone finally clears out, there I go wonderin’ how I’ll make it through the day. There’s nothing to be happy about. I’m tired, that’s all. Tired of life… and then I cry some more.

After all, they say, it’s an all too common scenario in this almost always deranged life of mine.

And then I ask, how can I possibly use that magical law of attraction to my advantage feeling like this?

The Law of Attraction takes work says my best friend Joiz… Great work on your inner self. It can appear that it is just easier to accept the life you are living rather than change you, but the change is worth it.

But how do I start when I feel so bad?

For months now it’s been running through my head over and over again. Maybe it’s a chorus of I’m always tired. I want my life to change but I don’t know how to start.

Very soon they say I will have to leave the space I am comfortably hangin’ in… that is, if I want to.

I don’t expect an answer too soon. But when it finally comes, I hope it would be as evident as this negativism that seem to have been embracing me for some time now.

A sane thing to do in the mean time is trust that the universe will bring me the desire to be happy in my life. Then each day will get better and hopefully better…